It is 2015!

It is 2015. 5 years have gone by n we are now settling in Kowloon tong, Hong Kong. Both kids are schooling in Hk n after 4 years in Hk? We have sorted out our grove... Stay tuned for updates

Welcome back charlene...

After more than 5 months of coping with the kids and all, I am finally coming to terms with all the hassle of 2 kids in a row and NO help at all.

It;s not so hard, it takes a lot of planning and such.

But it;s not impossible...Not easy but not impossible.

Many have doubt me, people like my in laws and all. It;s a fight between their concern and the struggle for them to fight off guilt.

I sensed milly do want to help but she is NOT keen to come to Melbourne to help out.

Her condition is to send Lya back to China and I am NOT keen on that, at all.

ON bad days, when I can;t cope with them, I do have my doubts. Mainly on whether I am doing the right thing or all?

But at the end of the day, They are my kids and I love them dearly.

Way too much to not see them each day.

OOoooh...how they have grown?

Baby Tyler is such a BIG boy and Little Lya is coping with words and growing ever so tall and lanky.

Slightly thin but for her height, she is ok.

So I am getting a hang on things and well, I am back to blogging my journey..

spare me some time to hear my delightful stories....

hang on to your seats...ladies and gentleman...

A change of thought....

I have strive to be brutally honest in my blog, in hopes to share and impart personal experiences among my friends. It;s not by all means, accurate to how I feel and may even distort my daily emotions.

I only write on how I feel on that very day and on that particular subject. It does not reflect on my own personal agendas. I may have raise some concern among my friends about my new baby but it's a ongoing journey.

The update is I have stop overfeeding Baby Tyler because he has put on a lot of weight and his jaundice is clearing. I did tried to top his formula for night feed but I noticed some "pimples" on his face and it could be due to the heatiness of the formula, which I am not sure of.

I am persistent to stay true to BF if I can because I have milk and would otherwise, choose not to BF. Please do not assume I dun advocate formula because it is such a personal choice for me.

One of the main reason being I am eager to lose the baby flab and BF works wonder for me to lose the excess weight...fast.

I do not dare to even start working out as I am so scare of my scar and wound healing or hitting a hernia?

But a good friend suggested I take time to BF Tyler and it;s true, I have reach the 3 hrs time lap and I am contend.

Mother has been of great relief to me and the other thing that I have change my mind on is the state of child care in oz.

I pay 60 for half a day session in between 7 am to 1 pm.

The state of the equipment and well, overall hygiene of the place is quite alarming.

It;s not very clean after all.

Worst, with hotter weather, Lya could easily pick up contagious illness.

I had only send her so I can rest and sleep, but it turns out if Tyler continues to sleep 3 hrs quarterly , I could endure little Lya.

Child care needs to be regulated in Oz. It needs to have a higher standards and carefully monitor. Ill equiped ones are the worst.

IF the health inspector run regular sport checks on restaurants, why not on child care?

A surprise visit, to ensure the staff and cleaniless are kept at par?

I pay a very good sum of money for it.

I dun really mind paying for it but I mind sending her to some dodgy child care. The ones that are clean and properly managed are overcrowded and there are no vacancies.

Such a dilemma to get a good one indeed.

I was considering child care for Lya till November, simply because I thought it was the best thing to do to keep her well adjusted.

But it turns out I am better off joining the playgroup instead.

Would I take the risk of her catching something serious?

I do not think so...

Finally...

We tried Nan Gold for like the 7.30 pm feed and he still could not sleep till 11.30 pm.

I gave him around 100ml of Nan and continue to nurse him till he slept. He did pee and poo a far bit but the thing is, he went to bed at midnite and only woke up by 3.45am. Which is a good thing because mummy gets to sleep too.

I dun think baby Tyler can sleep through the night at this stage. He is far too young to hold his pee and poo poo.

But the formula helps contain him longer.

I do NOT have anything against formula. Just to clear up any misunderstandings or great debate.

It;s a personal choice for myself and my family.

Truthfully, I enjoy BF ( Breast feeding). Why?

I can;t put a finger on it.

Maybe cause it justify me, not working and I am fully committed to BF the babies.

Or maybe I am kinda scared of The C word, since mum is a breast cancer survivor and I am inclined to protect myself. With any luck because C does not discriminate right?

Or maybe I like to see the babies grow stronger and well, I simply enjoy feeding them.

and I love how many calories it burnt! I am a fat girl. I need to burnt as much off as I can and I simply do not have the time to work out. Not yet anyway.

Vic beckham runs 8 miles a day!!! Explaining the stick figure lar!

I dun have access to nannies or chefs or personal trainer.

I wish I had more access to families visits.

Poor mum is missing home, and anyone to talk to. I hope becky will come next weekend to cheer her up a tad bit and help out with Lya.

Counting on you Becky!

I still have a long way to go.

Milly leaves next friday.

My fingers are deeply crossed.

beloved baby tyler

I reached a momentum today. How I must not force myself to go beyond my limits.

I love nursing baby Tyler but breast milk is so digestable that he wakes up every 2 hrs througout the night and it;s straining me and my partner and baby Lya.

I had the option of topping up formula for night feeds but I have prevail as long as I could so Baby Tyler can have a good start in life.

Natural is best for baby but at this stage, I must admit, I am failing to keep up with his needs and I need some serious sleep.

The worst part, milly is going back next Wednesday and I need to do my own cooking, laundry and housework. I will have less and less time to nurse him. Baby Lya's jealous streak is adding more stress to me and I am on the verge of breaking down.

The only solution....adding on formula so he sleeps longer in the morning, giving me enough sleep to pull through the day time.

It;s sad that I can not afford help in Oz, a maid or a nanny.

It;s a do or die thing for me. As much as it breaks my heart, I need to consider all options.

My only guilt is because I nursed Lya till 1 year old and I can;t do the same for my little son.

My heart is breaking but for the sake of both chidren, How can I not use the best option and solve the problem. While ceasing to punish myself for being an imperfect mother.

How I wish I could hire help...

brilliant...

Lya started day care like a week ago and gosh golly, it made such a BIG difference in my life because I get to sleep in in the mid morning, when she is at her most active.

I was worried about the usual suspects. Contamination in the playground, Lya adjusting to the teachers and children but she prove to be the light of the group. If not, one of the most playful kids around.

It has been working so well because the entire household gets to rest in the mid mornings and when she comes home, all we need to do is feed her, bath her and put her for her afternoon naps.

Hopefully, I can managed her speech and table manners. Social skills might be improved on. So much so, I intend to send her in every day till November and slowly ease back by December.

I do need the extra sleep. Honestly, I managed her better when I am rested and well adjusted. Having the burden of nursing Tyler at wee mornings. I am torn between nursing and turning to the bottle ( formula) because it is much easier and so accessible.

But prevailing and being fair to both kids are my main goals. I managed to nurse Lya till 13 months and that was an only child. Handling two kids is like managing a multinational company, it takes a lot of effective management and I am yet to be proven capable.

But the child care for now, is such a brilliant option. Since I can;t really ship a maid from KL to Melbourne, this is the best option available...

thank goodness for child care!

Lya started her child care in East Doncaster because I could not get a place in my area, thanks to the waiting list policy and a lot of hoos and haas.

Rules are great to protect children but to not have proper child care for kids in Melbourne where there are plenty back home? I wondered if the Australia government is doing something about this serious issue.

Lya LOVES child care. It gives her the space to explore and to play. To socialise.

I know I should smack her when she misbehaves but she is only two and I hate to punish her without her understanding the concept of disciple. Seeing that she can;t talk yet.

My friend got pregnant recently and was pondering about morning sickness. I hate to tell her morning sickness is the least she can worry about because the entire motherhood journey is horribly traumatic if one comes unprepared.

Even nursing Tyler, gosh, that little boy can nurse for 2 hours straight. Contributing to my sore back and sore arm and sore breast!

Little Lya is at her horrible "Twos", she is at the verge of turning two and beginning to talk or somewhat in between the process of learning words.

Her energy is like non stop , replenishing source of renewable energy! Keeping up with her is a BIG task! One of which I rather leave to the teachers and other older kids to teach her manners or how one should behave.

Not throwing her bowl of rice or spilling her cup of water...all for FUN!!!

How can I possibly scold a cute little face like hers?

Ain;t we all children...once a upon a time?

She should have her go at being a little mischief.

Motherhood...with its endless dramas, obstacles, all I really want to say to my dear friend....

" Get ready for the ride of your life, it;s a 18 year old project , fill with non stop challenges and if you really think about it, and give it a real go, with a added pinch of humor; anyone can do it...and may even enjoy it"

LOL...