sunday morning and it;s raining

I recently saw an interview in The Saturday Age on PND. I read things like “It was a nightmare,” or “I felt like I was in a black hole.” But I couldn’t even begin to express my true feelings. As I read, it dawned on me. If I had been able to truthfully convey my ordeal with post-partum depression under the glare of those lights, I most likely would have said no words at all. I simply would have stared at the article with an expression of deep, deep loss.

I found out I was pregnant a few days before I was ready to fly back to Malaysia to see my family. I had plan to help my sister, yeeling, redecorate her apartment in Jln Kuching but I had to later forfeit my air Asia tickets , on March 2008.

After taking the pregnancy test, I held the paper strip while waiting for the telltale sign to appear and thought, “I have to be pregnant! I will not be okay if I am not pregnant.” But as the slender strip turned blue, I leapt into the air with joy. However, what was in store for me was plainly unplanned and never anticipated.

The first 6 months of my pregnancy was like a roller coaster. With Lya, I had no none knowledge of how bad morning sickness can be and how to reduce the agonizing nausea and endless vomit. Oily greasy chinese cooking only made me puke even more. I ate small meals and preboil everything to avoid puking out any digested food. I was gravely concerned about eating right for my first baby. Before the China's milk scandal begun, I had drank endless cartons of Chinese produced milk, not knowing if it really had any adverse affects on my unborn child.


I loved being pregnant. Yes, I threw up every day for five months, and yes, the stretch marks were (and still are) obscene. I threw up, gained weight, and threw up some more, I entered the final month with nothing but confidence and blissful anticipation.

Lya was destined to be a special child and to be born breached. I rejected Mercy's appeal to turn her and opt for a c-sec. Being in Government, they could not confirm a bed for me till 9th November and even when the operation was scheduled at 8.30, Lya arrive in this world by 5.30 am. My water broke at 3.03 am precise.


Mostly I recall the moment someone handed my baby girl to me, and I heard shouts of joy, and my friend sheila crying, “Charlene, you’re an incredible mother!” And then...

Nothing. I felt nothing.

Memories of the following events are hazy. In fact, I can;t recall how I managed to survive the first year of Lya;s birth but somehow, time just slipped away.

And yet, in those moments after giving birth, I felt nothing. Someone encouraged me to sit up, and slowly, one by one, friends and family visited. Some were crying, others bursting with joy. Glassy-eyed, I politely listened to their impressions of our new baby girl. I had no impression of my own.

My anxiety was made worst without the presence of any single family from my side. My mother in law was strict, relentlessness, no emotions or a kind word. She kept comparing her own experience with mine. I Broke down the day I had a blocked duct on my right breast and had failed to nurse properly.

For me, breast-feeding was even more painful than giving birth. And despite a lactation consultant offering help, I felt incompetent. I refused to give up, forcing myself to do everything possible so that my baby girl would consume only my breast milk with no supplementation. I forged on, barely sleeping, always either breast feeding or pumping and never getting the hang of it. Occasionally I drifted off for a few minutes, but that decision to “feed at all costs” left me no room for recovery, no space to explore my feelings, no time to rest.

I even attended a nursing seminar, a one day course in Mercy, with the lactation consultant. They were warm, nurturing and ever so understanding. They were destined to ask me to keep on trying and not give up. I myself was eager to provide for my little baby girl. However, I really did neglect to see the signs of me asking the people around me for more understanding and less judgmental.


I distinctly remember the first night I was alone. Because of the stitches, moving even an inch sent daggers of pain tearing through my body. I tried to sit, but finally gave up and lay still as my tiny daughter cried. I thought, “I’m going to die here, lying next to my newborn baby. I am literally going to die tonight.”

It was not the last time I felt that way.

It is strange for me to recall what I was like at that time. I seemed to be suffering emotional amnesia. I couldn’t genuinely cry, or laugh, or be moved by anything. For the sake of those around me, including my baby, I pretended, but when I began showering again in the second week, I let loose in the privacy of the bathroom, water flowing over me as I heaved uncontrollable sobs.

When I visited the midwife for a checkup, she gave me a questionnaire, rating things on a scale from 1-5 so that she could get a sense of my emotional state. I gave myself a mediocre score. Despite my daily “shower breakdowns” months passed before I even began to acknowledge my true feelings. The midwife did gave me a referral for a psycho, but I refused to admit that I needed help. I refused to admit my defeat in handling this little baby. She literally thought I was going to hurt myself but I assured her the stress of dealing with strict Chinese in -laws is getting the best of me and I needed time and space to adjust accordingly.

Before lya was born, I had been in good humor about my weight gain, but I was now mortified by it. I felt I was struggling at breast-feeding. My house was a mess. I believed I was a terrible dog owner. I was certain I was an awful friend and partner. And worst of all, I definitely felt I was a rotten mother--not a bad one, a rotten one. Because the truth was, every time I looked at my little girl, I wanted to disappear.

Although perceptive, intuitive, and sensitive individuals surrounded me, my numb performance of “delighted new mom” seemed to fool everyone. Not having that freedom to admit to needing that space to evolve and change, especially with a very impulsive mother-in-law, I had more break downs that I could ever anticipated.


“How can I take care of my baby girl if I can’t take care of myself?” I sobbed.

My husband began a new role in marketing by November 2009 and had frequent overseas travel, and late evenings when he returned home, I would meet him at the door, shaking with fury, “I’ve hit the wall and gone through it, and I feel I am expected to go further.”

He would ask what he could do to help, but knowing there was nothing he could do, I screamed expletives at him, behavior he had never experienced in the nine years we had been together.

Distraught and concerned, he told me he would figure everything out, tried to assure me I didn’t need to worry.

Although challenges lay ahead, little by little I have come to admit that I need some balance in my children and my own life goals. I used to feel very selfish for not thinking of my children;s sake, Not enough anyway.

Comfort did came from my Mother;s group, one woman responded, “It takes a long time for them to grow up. You’ll have time to discover the kind of mother you are.” Another woman suggested I read Brooke Shields “Down Came the Rain.” Her book was a revelation. I am keen to read her book and rediscover similar paths of recovery. I am wary about her celebrity's status quo and how a normal new mother would tackle this deep feeling of losing control of one's life. Brooke probably had access to help but what about the rest of us? How would we cope?

Then one day I was sitting in my home with my best friend and my sister, and out of nowhere I got this sudden feeling of summer. When I told them they looked at me curiously and chuckled a little. I searched for a better way to describe my feelings, “I dunno, I just got this feeling… like everything is going to be okay.”


Post-partum depression is hard to describe—the way the body and mind and spirit fracture and crumble in the wake of what most believe should be a celebratory time. . I fear more often than not, for this reason alone, we choose silence. And the danger of being silent means only that others will suffer in silence and may never be able to feel whole because of it.

Do I wish I had never endured post-partum depression? Absolutely. But to deny the experience is to deny who I am. I still mourn the loss of what could have been, but I also feel deep gratitude for those who stood by me, for the lesson that we must never be afraid to ask for help, and for the feeling of summer that still remains.

P.S. - As I write this, my little girl, now one and a half, is waking and happily talking in baby words. It’s true. In the face of everything, Lya and I are two little peas in a pod.

As for the arrival of the new tiger baby, I vowed to be honest with how I feel and take as much time out as possible. I need to be heard, I need to be cared for and I need as much support as I can possible get.

Detox anyone?

DETOX

An abstract from goop.com, I am sure detox rings a bell in everyone's lip! So read on ...

It is that time of year, folks. I need to lose a few pounds of holiday excess. Anyone else? I like to do fasts and detoxes a couple of times during the year, the most hardcore one being the Master Cleanse I did last spring. It was not what you would characterize as pretty. Or easy. It did work, however. As I do not wish to subsist on lemon water in the middle of winter, I asked my doctor, a detox diet specialist, for the guidelines he uses to achieve a good detox that is not as hallucinogenic (in a bad way) as the Master Cleanse. He actually thinks that the Master Cleanse can be dangerous because the liver is not supported by the nutrients it needs. What it came down to was this: you can detox easily and effectively while you continue to eat as long as you are cutting out the foods and other substances that interfere with the detoxification process. Make sure you check with your doctor before you start any detox. Drink A LOT of water. I created this menu plan for a seven-day elimination diet. The shakes and juices are meant to be liquid meals that help decrease the amount of work your digestive system has to do. I will be suffering along with you to kickstart my year a bit lighter. Good luck to us all!

--- Gwyneth Paltrow

According to Dr. Alejandro Junger* (our detox specialist) in addition to the above, there are a few more "basic principles of detoxification" that should be kept in mind while following our detox menus.

* Do deep breathing or gentle yoga.
* Take a couple of spoonfuls of extra virgin olive oil at night to help stimulate your liver to eliminate bile and keep its circulation flowing.
* If your bowel movements get sluggish, you can accelerate things by drinking half a cup of castor oil or using a mild herbal laxative. Bowel elimination is paramount for correct detoxification.
* The skin gets rid of many toxins so it is important to sweat, either by exercising or taking a sauna.
* Finally, make sure you eat whole organic foods, which have the best chance of having all the nutrients needed for liver and general detoxification.

*This is an excerpt from Dr. Junger's upcoming book Clean, which will be published in May. Be sure to pick up a copy!

MENUS (bold indicates a recipe)

Adjust the time to your schedule and the meals to your taste but remember that there can be no dairy, grains with gluten, meat, shellfish, anything processed (including all soy products), fatty nuts, nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers and eggplant), condiments, sugar and obviously no alcohol, caffeine or soda.
DAY ONE

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Blueberry and Almond Smoothie
11:30am: Coconut water*
1:30pm (lunch): Salad with Carrot and Ginger Dressing
4pm (snack): A handful of mixed pumpkin and sunflower seeds
6pm (dinner): Broccoli and Arugula Soup
*Make sure that the coconut water has no added sugar. Fresh is ideal but the brands Zico or Vita Coco are readily available.
DAY TWO

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Raspberry and Rice Milk Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Detox Teriyaki Chicken and Steamed Greens
4pm (snack): Miso Soup with Watercress
6pm (dinner): Pea and Basil Soup (follow method for Broccoli and Arugula Soup)
DAY THREE

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Oatmeal (make with rice or almond milk instead of water so it’s a bit more substantial)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Blueberry and Almond Smoothie
4pm (snack): Cucumber, Lime and Basil Juice
6pm (dinner): Super Greens Juice / Miso Soup with Watercress
DAY FOUR

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Mango and Coconut Milk Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Miso Soup with Watercress
4pm (snack): A handful of blueberries
6pm (dinner): Steamed Salmon and Greens
DAY FIVE

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Peach and Almond Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Raw crudite (carrots, green beans, radishes, cucumbers, zucchini) with Carrot and Ginger Dressing
4pm (snack): Beet, Carrot, Apple and Ginger Juice
6pm (dinner): Cucumber and Avocado Soup
DAY SIX

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Blueberry and Almond Smoothie
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Mixed Greens with Steamed Salmon, Olive Oil & Lemon Juice
4pm (snack): Super Greens Juice
6pm (dinner): Detox Teriyaki Chicken, brown rice, steamed zucchini
DAY SEVEN

7am (or upon rising): Glass of room temperature lemon water
8am: Herbal tea
10am (breakfast): Raspberry and Rice Milk Smoothie (follow method for Blueberry and Almond Smoothie)
11:30am: Coconut water
1:30pm (lunch): Miso Soup with Vegetables
4pm (snack): A handful of almonds
6pm (dinner): Steamed fish, quinoa, roasted squash

agave syrup

Composition

Agave nectar consists primarily of fructose and glucose. One source[6] gives 92% fructose and 8% glucose; another[7] gives 56% fructose and 20% glucose. These differences presumably reflect variation from one vendor of agave nectar to another. Agave nectar's glycemic index and glycemic load are comparable to fructose, which in turn has a much lower glycemic index and glycemic load[8] than table sugar (sucrose).[9]

However, the extremely high percentage of fructose can be deleterious and can trigger fructose malabsorption, metabolic syndrome,[10] hypertriglyceridemia, decreased glucose tolerance, hyperinsulinemia, and accelerated uric acid formation.[11][12][13]
[edit] Culinary use

Agave nectar is said by one supplier to be 1.4 to 1.6 times sweeter than sugar.[14] Agave nectar is often substituted for sugar or honey in recipes. Vegans in particular commonly use agave nectar to replace honey in recipes.[citation needed] It is also used as a sweetener for cold beverages such as iced tea because it can dissolve quickly.[citation needed]

Agave nectars are sold in light, amber, dark, and raw varieties. Light agave nectar has a mild, almost neutral flavor, and is therefore sometimes used in delicate tasting foods and drinks. Amber agave nectar has a medium-intensity caramel flavor, and is therefore used in foods and drinks with stronger flavors. Dark agave nectar has stronger caramel notes, and imparts a distinct flavor to dishes, such as some desserts, poultry, meat, and seafood dishes. Both amber and dark agave nectar are sometimes used "straight out of the bottle" as a topping for pancakes and waffles. Raw agave nectar also has a mild, neutral taste. It is produced at temperatures below 118 °F (48 °C) to protect the natural enzymes, so this variety is an appropriate sweetener for raw foodists.[15

Extract from wikipedia. However, I am curious to find out if this is the raw ingredient used to make tequila?

It sounds quite harmless to try right?

Good for you chocolate chip cookies!

Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

YIELD: 3 dozen cookies

* 1 cup coconut oil
* 1 1/4 cup sugar
* 1/3 cup applesauce
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
* 1 1/2 cups Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free All-Purpose Baking Flour
* 1/4 cup flax meal
* 1/2 cup cocoa powder
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
* 1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.

In a medium bowl, mix together the oil, sugar, applesauce, cocoa powder, salt, and vanilla. In another medium bowl, whisk together the flour, flax meal, baking soda and xanthan gum. Using a rubber spatula, carefully push the dry ingredients into the wet mixture and combine until dough is formed. With the same spatula, gently fold in the chocolate chips just until they are evenly distributed throughout the dough.

Using a melon-baller, measure out the dough and place on the prepared baking sheets. Space the portions 1-inch apart. Gently press each with the heel of your hand to help them spread. Bake the cookies on the center rack for 14 minutes, rotating the trays 180 degrees after 9 minutes. The cookies will be crispy on the edges and soft in the center. Remove from the oven.

Let cookies stand 10 minutes. They’re best served warm, but to save them use a spatula to transfer the cookies to a wire rack and cool completely before covering. Place in an airtight container and store at room temperature for up to 3 days.

This I may try though I have to find xanthan gum? But in Melbourne, there is a equal share of crazy health nuts around, so I may surprise myself to find everything in the list. I am hesitating to try out these recipes now, if it;s harmful to the baby and all but trust me. Post baby, with all that yucky excess weight to reduce? This recipe could be god send?


Vanilla Frosting

YIELD: enough for 1 dozen cupcakes

* 1 1/2 cups soy milk
* 3/4 cup soy “Better Than Milk” powder
* 1 tablespoons coconut flour
* 1/4 cup agave nectar
* 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
* 1 1/2 cup coconut oil
* 2 tablespoon lemon juice

In a blender or food processor, combine the soy milk, “Better Than Milk” powder, coconut flour, agave nectar, and vanilla. Mix the ingredients for 2 minutes. As the machine blends, slowly add the oil and lemon juice, alternating between the two until all parts are incorporated. Pour the mixture into an airtight container. Place the container in the refrigerator for 6 hours, or for up to 1 month, before using.

Is there such a thing as " Better than Milk" powder?

Sugar free Cupcakes!

Ok, a taste of what is to come in the real world. Sugar is a mean mean thing for anyone trying to watch their weight! I can really find agrave syrup in health store in Melbourne but try and read the abstract from Goop.com and share the world of an alternative way of dealing with sugar addicts.

I guess she is still eating cupcakes so that is a good start of staying normal?

Maybe this is the future of our revamp lifestyle?

read on...

GOOP: What effect has it had? What are the health benefits of being wheat and dairy-free?

Erin McKenna: I was never overweight but I dropped about 10 pounds by taking out the gluten, dairy, caffeine, processed foods and sugar and replacing them with whole foods. There was no dieting involved, no carb-counting or fat gram tallying. I was just very careful about my food choices and made sure that I knew what was in everything I was eating before I indulged.

GOOP: What are your must-have ingredients? And where do you get them?

Erin McKenna: My top 3 must have ingredients are coconut oil (it’s really high in lauric acid, stimulates the thyroid and gives almost identical flavor of butter when used properly), agave nectar (I prefer Organic Nectars – it’s low on the glycemic index, non-toxic and tastes just like sugar without the aftertaste) and Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free all purpose baking mix (my whole baking empire would collapse if he went out of business! His product is so incredible). You can get these at health food stores or Whole Foods but if there isn’t one near you, they’re all available online (check out www.nutiva.com, www.organicnectars.com, www.bobsredmill.com).

Gwen the Goddess!

If anyone is interested to know what a domestic goddess look like, look no more than the great Gwyneth Paltrow most delightful blog, Goop.com.

It has the most insane fashion and diet ideas that would blow your mind or make you think, how crazy can these celebrities get?

Do watch Iron Man 2, to see how amazing she looks like now and yeah, not a wee blink of a mother of 2 would look like. How does she do it? Very strict diet and even stricter yoga and gym regime. An army of holistic programme, kaballah faith, professional nutrition, chefs, nannies, stylist and god know what else. She reveals everything in her blog.

On the Saturday Age, they review her for disclosing PND, Post Natal Depression. This was the first true calling of self reflection. We can only see the after baby pictures of amazing stars like Jess Alba, Nicole Richie and Posh Beck herself but never about PND.

I wanted to buy Brooke Shields, " and down came the rain", a sincere revelation about PND. But she had access to every help possible! Wouldn;t that be easier?

SATC 2 tried to potray PND in charlotte but seriously? A white tight A line skirt while U bake cupcakes? ONLY in the movies lor...not in real life.

I myself am attempting to talk more about PND but in a neutral light. To spark a topic of interest. Wanted to volunteer for PANDA, the PND helpline for mothers with to call the free toll and talk about it with someone who really understands but with 2 little bubs, I need to really chase the child care for a decent spot.

Anyway, stay tune for more of my own journey of PND. I admit I have a considerable minor case of PND. My faith and love for my children is too strong to let it conquer my will to try and attempt to excel in motherhood.

Do check out goop and let me know what you think of this wonderful world of the rich and famous ( for mothers anyway)?

Hear me roar!

My little tiger will arrive in September and I have managed to get a confirmed booking on sep 13th , 6 am. This is my second C-sec and I can only admit to everyone, it will be as nerve wrecking as the first but with great expectations.

My Gynae is Dr Serag Youssif, as recommended by Jolene, a dear college friend. I chose him because he is the nearest to my house and I had the most horrific 3 months of morning sickness.

Not as bad as Lya though.

Something came last friday when filly, ( father-in law) , requested afternoon surgery for the little tiger. Stating that it is a much luckier hour for baby tiger to be born.

The reasons being tigers born in the PM are much luckier in life, because they will be well fed for life. I know this sounds totally ridiculous, to some and realistic , to others. I dun mean to believe in hocus pocus, but when you have in laws like mine, one have to play diplomacy.

Dr Youssif is a private obs and gynae specialist and I can dictate the time for the surgery. So I went back on friday to ensure the changes are put into place.

Why it is on a 6 am run , because I cannot eat for the next 6 hours or so, due to the epidural and less havoc to starve a poor preggars like me. My doc can get it done wee early mornings and get back to his adoring patients! He earns like bucket of money, Michelle dear!

Only to prove if one work harder, anyone can be a specialist and earn to the roof top or be guaranteed work for life!

Anyway, yeeling, my older sister, send me this wonderful e-card of the Malayan tiger.

Tigers are natural leaders , and yet have this fragile persona.

She is an active environmentalist and a wonderful advocate for endangered species, especially birds. Something which is not taken that seriously in Asia, if compared to conservation in Australia or anywhere else. It does matter, even the weather in Australia has changed so much since the climate change sparks more concern and talks.

All and all, Happy Malayan Tiger Year!!!

wonderful ideas

I had this cupcakes made for my very dear friend, sheila, on her birthday last July 3.

One of my mother;s group, Becky , home baked these very delicate cupcakes, specified to my order.

It cost about less than 2 bucks for each cake, but considering the love and devotion put into these cupcakes, which is an ongoing craze, it;s an art form.

I am trying to have a barbie cake done for lya;s birthday but I am not sure how well baby no 2 will adjust to my life.

However, when time permits, I do want to bake my own birthday cakes for my lovely children, just because there is nothing more special than home made cakes?

It is just full of love....and the pictures can show it




I caught the design because my dear friend do not fancy the usual flowerly details but more of the very simple tiffany blue and ribbon design

it is such a wonderful gift and I know Becky really spend hours playing with fondant and the icing has a wonderful cream cheese texture, less sugar, as I specified.

Faking it

I took this pic after coming back from my very rare pre birthday dinner with my beloved partner. Something I wish we could do more of.

Sadly, it;s not a usual thing for me as we have to budget for the second baby.

I did however, managed to have my make up done professional at Inglot, a germany professional make up brand, cheaper than MAC and easier to get in without a booking.

I had fake lashes on, very dramatic and equally ego-boosting.

The last time I did the fake lashes when on my wedding night and that was 3 years ago.

Even my darling youngest sister is a pro at applying these tricky beauty treatments but the results is ultra amazing.

I am keen on those lash extension but my eye is far too delicate for those longer lasting lash addition.

However, it did work magic on my esteem and for the next 2 hours of dinner, I never felt so ....comfortably happy.

Being a mother can ruin one;s esteem. I barely have time to comb my hair or brush my teeth. Taking pictures without my make up is not an easy task.

No one like to admit they are getting older, fatter and ...look more like an aunty/ si lai?

It;s quite damaging and could add more stress to any possible post natal depression. In fact, I found out I can even get pre natal depression, ie, you can accept pregnancy in a bad way. No everyone is cut out for the pregnancy ride. The worst anyone can do it judge you, what you should do and not do and what a fitting mother is?

Getting older only makes me more comfortable in my skin and most importantly, knowing what matters. Little things do not bother me anymore.

Things like stretch marks, gaining weight, going up a dress size, untidy hair, going au natural ( make-up free), eating for two, letting others help me and admitting that it will take time for me to adjust and get my life back in order.

33

As if 30 wasn;t bad enough but 33. How am I ever going to comprehend getting older when I have not even live my life.

- I have not travel to Europe, US, Latin America!!!!

- I have not even been back home for the last 5 years!

- I have not bought my investment property in Melbourne!

- I have still to balance my family life and career!

etc..
etc..

But one thing is for certain, I have so much life goals unfulfilled and the best bit about it, I have another 7 good long years to do it before the big 4 0 hit me like a big smack on the face.

Optimistic and ever so ambitious, I am up for a Real challenge! Life is nothing without a wee bit of struggle, hard effort, lots of patience and endurance. It;s like the amazing race, as long as you keep pushing yourself, you might stand a chance to stay alive in the game and actually win the race! NO one is a loser if they dun give up?

Guess it;s just a mental state of mind:as I have a few things on the head , clearing and eager to like get back on track.

The second baby will put me back 2 years before I can even go back to work. Work keeps me afloat and financially sane. I hate the fact of relying on my partner for any extra income.

In case anyone still am not clear on how shopholic I am, it;s a curse and a blessing in disguise. I simply yearn for the good things in life way too much to settle for mediocre.

Getting older makes me wiser, I hope. I should better than last year right?

Finger crossed anyway. I still make silly mistakes! Like never checking the date of my online cinema tickets before hitting the confirm button!

Hopefully, I will learn my lessons in life and actually end the year with such a wonderful new addition to the family.

beautiful morning

As weird as it sounds, waking up at 3 am just to have trouble going back to sleep is not uncommon for new mothers.

Among the hectic schedule of handling and managing the kids, plus trying to keep an order in the house so it does not look like it has been robbed; does make me feel like I totally do not have any personal time to do anything.

Examples of personal time we take for granted for:

-reading and finishing the morning paper

-drinking your milo before it gets cold or tip over by noti hands

-read and reply your emails

-finish soaking your bath

-finish brushing your teeth! 2 minutes is impossible for me sometimes

-combing my hair

-putting on sun screen or attempting to cover my panda eyes

-trying to catch up with the afternoon nap, only to wake up with a major migraine

-attempting any beauty treatments to salvage the neglected skin, nails and hair

-watching any newly release movies ( possible if childcare is taken care of)

-attempting to lose the 20 kgs you pile on during pregnancy ( this requires a 30 mins cardio with weights , 4 to 5 times a day)

-attempting to cook a proper meal ( boiling hot water is such a nasty fear for me so I tend to only cook when my husband is around or I just eat instant noodles)

-baking anything ( burnt cakes and etc)

-gardening ( sorted out with my gardener but that is cost included)

-walking the dog ( only if the weather permits me or I craved the sun and fresh air)

-attempting to chew my food properly or enjoy my latte with leisure ( gobbling food is such a disgusting habit but when you have to watch out for 2 pairs of noti hands, I am afraid this is the best I can do...)

-attempting any proper cleaning ( I guess I have figured out to work as quick as I can and as efficient as I can to keep the house spotless)

-reading any gossip magazine ( MY leisure time out right? catch up with the celebrity gossips, fashion, style or just enjoying a mere 20 mins of pure indulgence)

-shopping and trying on clothes ( without the babies screaming murder at me to HURRY UP MUMMY!)

My Only salvation is I have to like go to bed as early as 8.30 to 9 pm , wake up at 4 to 5 am and like, have a good 2 hour lap time to do whatever I want.

-write my blog and reply my emails

-apply for jobs( if the need arises)

-work out

-shower

-have a quiet breakfast and chew like normal human being

-read the morning paper

- play with my dog?

I find myself juicing with ideas and feeling quite perky at around 4 am? Maybe when the weather gets warmer with spring, I would not mind waking up so early.

I dunno if this is crazy but it does help me keep my sanity in tact. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelm by the amount of things I need to do for the kids.

NOT that I mind, but it;s just a mere thought. How am I ever going to balance myself and them?

Vue de Mode

This is a fancy french restaurant in little collins street, city. My husband took me there for my early Birthday celebration on last wednesday, 28th. The weekend was booked out and harder to find parking in the city.

IT has NO menu but 5 to 10 course meal , unspecified and each course is a surprise gourmet dish. I had it tailored because I was coming to 7.5 mths pregnant!

The first course came with a rock! It is some cold peanutly thing which I did not really fancy though!

The french really do set out to impress right! The following dishes came out with like bigger plates and fancier plating but not much on the BIG plate!

There was a lot of butter in the sauce to keep you FULL!

There was weird salads, a small piece of very rawly cooked kangaroo for my partner, Waygu steaks for both of us, tiny baby lobsters and 2 types of desserts! One came in an 6 eggs carton, some kinda mousse, which I hardly finished , 2 had liquor in it!

Patrick had a wine taster, the waiter tailor each meal with a different wine, because each dish was a mystery. All and all, we had the most wonderful memorable time of 2010.

The funniest part was getting to know our posted waiter, who looks like the comedian from Little Britain. The one that played Ann and the receptionist who kept saying " computer says No"?

We were giggling like two young lovebirds!

It took us 2 hours to finish the course and the bill was quite extravagant but worth every penny!

Service is impeccable! They fold my napkin 3 times when I went to the ladies and always pull my chair! Helped me down the stairs and I can not say how hard it is to find such services these days anywhere else?

We did forgot to tip our "ann" waiter though!

That would be a lovely ending to our little Fine dining experience!

Just a note...

It's Tuesday and I have yet to like, discuss with my doctor about settling on a date. Everyone thinks it;s on September 13 but I have yet to confirm with the doctor. My appointment on 29th, I will remember to talk to him about this.

This friday I will have my ultrasound. It is so daunting. I tried to get myself chosen for Anne Geddes' latest Project on Pregnancy but the lady is outta the office and would get back to me. Her admin staff that is.

I am determined to capture the last moments of my journey. I have been feeling very anxious to do more stuff. Like catching up with friends, going for last minute shopping, more cafe time with friends and just enjoying the last month of freedom before lovingly settling down to my post-labour recovery.

My partner has requested I rest more but I will be quite home bound with nursing duties later in September.

I am looking forward to planning My little girl birthday in Mid November and eager to get the delegation done for my friends to help me out.

To end this year, I want to achieve more with my little family. I want to feel totally satisfied and be grateful for God's blessing that I have such little darlings to Love.

cut me a piece...

I baked this cake from a recipe which I kinda reform from my Instyle mag.

It;s a Almond and Vanilla cake, top with lemon curd.

There is only 100g of flour in this recipe and it;s super moist as the main dry ingredients are almond meal, ricotta and the usual butter, eggs and vanilla paste.

The lemon curd is just butter, sugar, lemon juice and 4 eggs!

The special part is it;s half steamed and half baked to ensure the cake does not dry out.

Partly because milly do not like baked goods, due to the YIT HEI, heatiness factor. So, I copied a pudding recipe and decided to experiment the half steamed and half baked cooking procedure.

I wanted a cake that is high in calcium, from the almond and ricotta but also almost gluten free. Gluten can make me bloat further I assumed and it;s lighter in texture and taste.

The best part is I managed to win the hearts of my milly dearest while coming up with a recipe that will not pile on the extra weight on me as well.

GO go Callum!

Callum is this 20 year old student ,one of the two finalist in Masterchef Australia and the final is on this Sunday.

Callum is not very confident because of his tender age and he is a student. Somehow, I fancy him because I think he deserved to win. Rather than Adam, the expert in Japanese Cuisine, a Lawyer by trade from SA? I can;t remember but I feel as with any good plot, the producers would fancy someone unlikely to win, just to pump up the debate?

If Adam wins, it;s a no brainer. He is a sure win bet!

However, Callum has something going on for him. Unexpected success, youth, exuberance, a magnetic personality. He blinks a lot under preassure, which I find ever so honest about his personality. He is never too proud or too shy to ask, sometimes too many of, questions!

He soak up advices, lessons, experiences( good or bad) like a sponge! In a way, IF I had a son, I would be proud if he is half the man of Callum! Generation Y is missing that part of effort, that part of curiosity and that part of working one's ass to get to the top and daring to take that leap of faith!

I hope I am right on the money. I hope callum wins for the sake of proving that it does not matter if you are young and inexperienced. If you really want something so badly, and you DUN give up, one can not lose but stand a clear chance of taking home the Major PRIZE!

Go Callum ..Go...You have my full support!

TGIF at home!

This is somewhat like my uniform. Tights, which I am wearing two, because it;s kinda cold. One is a thicker Glasson tights, cotton , I got for like 10 bucks!

and the other is a thinner slightly leather wet look tights, from Jeanwest, about 10 bucks as well. The sweater is from Giordano, from Macao. It is about 4 years old? I like it because I wanted the effortless lounge look and it;s sparkly. Bling Bling!

Well, being at home can be boring but a little sparkle add just enough drama for me.

This is a Friday and I feel like being comfortable and FUN!

Girls NITe Out

As with all good things, I promised the girls I would have a girls nite out and it was truly Fun. Something I have always imagine.

Of coz, I kinda told Carmen that I would make a serious effort for my girlfriends, simply because I cherish friendship more than ever.

Rebecca knows I truly miss socializing and they were kind enough to let me go back by 8.30pm . Though Becky did nagged me for dragging it to 9 pm.

It was spontaneous and something I wish I could do more of. But like any good law of diminishing returns, one of its kind is better than too many nite out.

The Project contd...

This pic is about continuing my project, I wanna start a pregnancy street style blog, where I can hopefully inspire some mothers-to-be to have FUN with their journey and embrace their new body!

It should not be glamorous or unrealistic but simple style which you can hopefully find existing clothing in your wardrobe and style it yourself.

Stay tune for more looks..

The project

I managed to take these pics myself to celebrate my last trimester before the baby arrives in mid September.

It;s called The Project.

It;s about getting to love my pregnancy body and getting to accept that this is my post-baby body.

Somethings have changed. I am now a proud size 12. Used to be size 10. Much thinner before baby No 1 arrived.

But somehow, there is this glow of confidence about accepting this curvier body of mine and how I am finally learning to love myself for who I am.

The project aim to portray the last few days of my last trimester.

well, how do I look?

Are you chinese?

There are certain expectations of you when you are born chinese. Even more so when your mother is Malaysian Chinese.

This article is dedicated to my children. Maybe one day they will understand what is it like to be a chinese.

* You are expected to excel in your life and apply yourself 200%

* You are expected to study smart and be educated so as to find a good job.

* You are expected to learn more than one language, this include Hokkien, your local dialect, Mandarin and English.

( Mummy will forgo Malay but I do expect my children to know how to order a local teh tarik and roti special)

* You are expected to help around the house and take care of each other as siblings do.

* You are expected to know the value of a dollar and not spend too lavishly.

( this is particularly true in mummy's household in Johor. Grandfather used to dilute our coke to make it go further and we drank it just as it is)

* Any rewards will be based on school results.
( This includes all luxury items like Ipod or Ipad, or whatever that is currently the craze in your peer group)

* NO branded stuff is allowed unless it is truly necessary
( Sorry kids, this applies in Mummy's rules but Mummy will allow exception if I see Lots Of Distinctions in your report cards or good behaviours applied.)

* No dating is allowed until you finished your VCE
( Mummy will re-educate you on the Importance of SPM results in Malaysia and how it will affect your entire life if you do not get the sufficient grades!)

* Mummy knows best
( Well, your father is a bit slacking in the brain department or rationale department, hence, that is the main reason he hooked on to mummy! so Mummy DO know best!)

* What applies to your Caucasian friends DO not Apply to you
( Mummy will impart as much Asian heritage as needed to assure that ANY potential identity crisis is minimised)

* Religion is crucial to your overall development
( This included the lessons of Karma Retribution, Charity begins at home and How God will only help those who help themselves, among many others)

* This list is an ongoing process
( More rules will apply as mummy's darlings grow older)

But Most of all, How the rules are not limitations but merely a loving guidelines. I dun like lying to young children about the harsh reality of life. More fearful of an identity crisis, being born here in Australia and forgetting who you are, my little darlings.

We cannot deny who we are but being a Chinese, we are born for greater aims in life. The Sky is the limits. Be proud of your heritage and celebrate your diversity!

little lya

As decided, my little girl will be one of my pet projects. I am trying to see if I can be a baby stylist. Haha..wonder if such a job even exist?

but it;s a start right?

I love dressing up my little girl and when she eventually have hair, finger crossed, my creativity will be challenged further.

What do you think?

mamma mia part 2

OK, I blamed the celebrity mothers for pushing the envelope on how a hot mother should be and How My partner simply hinted that if they can do it, why not me? Hello, I am a normal human being right?

But yeah, when jessica alba, nicole Ritchie and the hottest idol..The great Vic Beckham, struts their stuff on their red carpet, My partner simply sigh and then, look at me while asking me why?

Like why what? hahaha....

My partner is working in this high flying marketing job in the a high end tobacco company in Melbourne. He has this dressing sense that is widely researched on GQ Men, Men's fashion website and other fashion influences.

As a result, he has this weird fixation that he wants our very young family to be chic , clean and smart casual. Of coz, this includes my children! Thanks to little fashionista like Suri Cruise and shiloh Pitt Jolie, children;s fashion has never reach that kinda attention right?

I personally prefer easy laid back Gap, Baby Seed, Country Road and JC Penny all american look.

THis means money people and poor mummy can;t work because of obvious reasons.

I question how to finance this fashion costs.

I vouched for Big W, Target and Best and Less for cheaper option and basic stuff, like singlets and good design pants.

it;s not easy when I dun have spare income to finance my shopping.

still am trying ...

I guess I do not want to be caught off guard myself. IF I do meet his friends, I want to make a good impression. Smart casual and ballet flats

No baggy track pants and greasy hair!

hahaha...

I am still trying...

mummy mia

Despite what people may tell you about the Do and Don;ts of motherhood, you must really decide for yourself.

For my first pregnancy, I was mortified, usually from very traditional ladies in china, on what to do and what not to do.

Trust me, when you gain up to 20kgs, yes, it;s horrifying and ever destroying for anyone;s self esteem, especially mine, YOU must decide what is right for you.

The morning sickness can be hell. My advice of anyone who is sorry enough to experience this roller coaster symptom is hold on for one more day. It will clear by the fourth month. Have regular meals and do whatever is needed to feel at ease. I did not cook for 4 mths with lya, the mere smell of cooking made me nausea.

The second half of the trimester, you will feel better and have more energy to do your usual chores and stuff. Of coz, the energy HIGH and LOW means, you can feel on top of the world one morning and like crap, the next. Your partner needs to understand your hormonal changes and mood swings. No, You are not lazy or feeling sorry or making a BIG thing about being pregnant, You are just going through a very bad day.

Having in laws with you can escalate the thing. I would usually have more patience with these old chinese people but with my raging hormones and very thin patience endurance, I took 2 hours break when desperately needed.

I usually allow my little girl to nap, so as not to have people say I abandon my child to my milly. AND, pedicure is the best thing I can think of. Warm water soak, warm hands massaging, your tiny toes get the pampering. You get to read a gossip Mag in peace and takeaway a hot mocha to sip.

IT"S my survival kit.

I am tempted to do my brow and lash, but that would take a really 90 mins to 120 mins and trust me, NO mother have that kinda luxury time!!

Note to all beautician, having a 60 mins pampering session and low cut price can be BIG business OK?

I have a plan , to enlist my friend;s help to help me take photos of my last term so I can showcase my last month of pregnancy and how to stay in trend.

Well, when u look like a whale, hiding in potato sack clothing would not do you any favor and may sink you further into the hole.

I can;t get my baby shower done as plan due to his mother;s presence. But I can sure plan other things on hand.

Oh well, One must prevail and milly is staying till oc/nov, NO matter how hard I wanna wish her away!

My mother is coming on aug 8, ThaNK GOODNESS!! I LOVE YOU MOTHER DEAREST!!!

Nothing like getting married to make you appreciate your own precious mother!

I dun even mind My mother;s nagging words! Serious!

Ladies...stay tuned!

so cute...

This is too cute that I just had to share with everyone. We had Mackers for friday nite dinner and little lya was mimicking her father, dipping her fries in tomato sauce.

My partner was very proud of his little girl, for being smart, robust and such a little rascal that one cannot help but love and adore.

I guess this the face of parenthood. ALL that hard labor, lack of sleep, endless tears and whining.

Family outings like this does melt our hearts. Seeing her grow and seeing her take her first steps, and soon, her first words.

All that precious memories and experiences just would make anyone proud, joyous and just blissfully happy.

I guess these pictures does say it all...

yummy...

Here is my husband's daily breakfast, as prepared by his mother. There is a lot of care and effort in this array of food. Love, devotion, tender loving care and most of all, details to attention.

His mother is a mantra of Chinese Traditional Medicine. So to speak, it does have it merits except the point where my little girl's ezcema and how she can only have pork and chicken. I am a bit wary of the cholesterol level in pork. So I tend to favor fish and seafood for the low calorie and high minerals contend.

Fish is brain food. Examples are the Japanese lifestyle of soya based products, loads of fresh seafood, green tea, raw organic food and vegetables.

Korean spread , based on sesame seed, seaweed, wakame, beans, vegs and fresh meat are also a very interesting palate to follow.

Chinese food , especially the northern cuisine, made mostly of flour based Man Tou which is basically flour and water and yeast, hand made noodles and the infamous dumplings, well, not to my liking as I deter minced pork. I hate the smell, I hate the look and I definately hate the taste.

Shanghainese soup dumplings, which most people love, are based on fresh water crab meat.

The truth in pleasing a very fussy palate like my partner's is really variation.

Cooking one or two dishes and having it daily , for a month or so, will definately not earn any brownie points.

While this breakfast is great for cold winter mornings.

and easily to digest, which I agree. I still love my english breakfast!

Green eggs, My mocha and well, have anyone tried spanish eggs, french toasts with maple syrup, pancakes, and an ongoing list?

variation...that;s all that makes my life worth living...

the smell of eggs and bacon, and freshly brewed coffee

meanwhile, the love in this morning spread is so apparent and yet, my partner can easily NOT learn to appreciate it if it;s done daily and the magic is overused

Hence, I do just make him warm toast and vegemite with milk tea

He has to learn to not take his family for granted!

is this me?

Seriously, when you hit motherhood, and when you looked back at your old pics, circa 2007, you tend to have this deja vu feeling, oh gosh, did I really look like that before child ( B.C)?

As amazing as it sounds, I really adored prepping up. I have a serious collection of shoes, clothing, accessories and well, maybe I am making up for the years of teenage dorkiness.

Like I said, I was a shy girl in high school and exam results were my only goal then.

Well, mostly because I love fashion too much and yeah, as much as I adore those Shinjuku look , I can;t never really master petite style. Maybe the LA or New Yorker laid back effortless style.

My latest craze is Ralph Lauren. The chic crisp white silk blouse, silk scarves, pencil denim skirt, thick sole heels in beige and slick back hair appeals to me. Well, I assured you old school college style will please my dear partner. He does want both of us to look good and polish.

Usually for letting people know motherhood have not changed our passion for travel, good food and a younger polish family.

In fact, most of little lya's cloth are pre approved by him. He love those cute Japanese kids in uniforms and french straw hats!

Sadly, his mum does not share the same ideals, gosh, her clashing of "gong bei" , this hawker style in zhuhai..similiar to petaling street ah beng/ah lians, make my skin crawls. I was once terrorized with my old baby pics and how horrible I look. Bowl style hairstyle and simply uncute outfits.

OK, it;s winter so his parents are nagging constantly about keeping warm and not looking good at the same time. I have hide most of my beloved cotton stockings for little lya. END of year sales U see but the lucky part is I got them a size bigger so there is time when his parents finally leave by nov 1, very long , I know, that I am able to savage my poor baby girl to wear her winter stuff that mummy got!

stay tuned!

where am I?

Maybe we can only read about positive parenting in Melbourne and not the other way around. I am sure Asian family values are firmly rooted on doing everything right for the kids. Even my mother is enforcing me to read to lya and she is ONly 21 months mum, I am sure she will say proper words in time. Plus, it;s bilingual so extra effort is needed in my family.

The Sunday Age's lifestyle section featured something outta fitting your child into your life and not the other way around. While today tonite's on channel 7 did an interesting story where a mum is forced to leave a cafe when her baby boy made too much noise. Well, there is a dilemma here my friends, how does one ensure the child can ever FIT into our lives?

Lya does winged when she is bored and not properly entertained in cafe. Now, what I mean was I either have to feed her something nice and new, or a new toy, new book and keep her properly entertained. Sufficiently for 30 mins, which is a good record for parents trust me.

She usually attract nice strangers who gives her loads of attentions and praises. That girl is such a drama princess and I can fortell she would be a social butterfly. I myself am not ONe but I considered myself a late developer. My teen years was filled with horror social stories. I was fat, frumpy and with thick rimmed glasses. Enough said, I would think.

One can guess the sad conclusion.

My confidence only grew in Uni and in later working life. I guess I found my own edge and I tried my best to overcome my shyness and just stay open to what life could bring. Of coz, my chances of travelling around Asia helped me found more focus and changed my view on life. I have worked in Macao, China , Melbourne and Malaysia and each of these places taught me resilience and many life lessons.

I yearn to go back to work. Only because I have unfilled life goals. Of coz, the extra income would help me do what I want. Currently, I have to budget every single thing because of a single income family. He gets to dictates what I spend.

OOO....I am a self confessed shopholic and it;s not limited to fashion and accessories but have grew its ugly heads into interior stuff, white crisp french linen and trips back home.

This is who I am anyway. Denying my poor soul does not help and I have tried to salvage my boredom with my Mother;s group , social outings and refining the art of spending time with myself and lya. But I am still discontend.

Hence, I have decided that when the time is right and my kids are ready to go to kinder, I will have to go back to work, not feeling guilt free of coz. I am sure the kids love to have a stay at home mother, baking cookies and making home made dumplings.

But I simply think it;s for their best interest that I answered my passion for life. I was never meant to be conventional or a desperate housewife candidate. I was meant to push myself further and see where my boundaries lies.

My hunger for greater things in life and juggling family and career is nothing scary to me.

I dare to dream big and migrate so this is just a minor challenge.

Melbourne have such a wonderful family values.

For this reason, I am very blessed.

how not to lose yourself in a marriage

OK, I finally figured out the real secret to any marriage..

1. Pick your fights wisely

There should be some ART to WAr class for any potential marrying couple because if anyone think two minds can think alike. They could not be so wrong. Of coz, if you are like me, a risk taker and dare to commit to someone younger and more naive, things are made worst!! I would definately say pick your wins wisely and learn to let go of minor things, with a long term view of the future's peace. Anything you say may or may not be used against you in future arguements.

Trust me, when you are mad, your partner is more likely to bring out the past and shower you with endless mockery. Or what you used against him or his family or his friends.

So my dear friends, be careful with the war of words!! It is sharper than a knife! and Men do lick their wounds and will remember for life!

2. Relearn the art of perseverance

It;s so easy to judge someone so quickly. Failing to see anyone's potential and how a person can be changed, with the right elements and timing. My partner is such a player but with the birth of his daughter and soon, another child, he has totally changed!

Not only do I nag less, trust me, MEN hate nagging women, NO matter how hot they are!; he is more thoughtful of us when he is out? Like a very unusual sms to see if his little girl is asleep or is she better from a flu?

DUN be jealous mummies, concerned daddies are a step nearer to the perfect man! BUT, I have to prevail on his growing stage , enough time to see him be the MAN I know he can be. Quit now and you will never know. PS, most men are the same, anyway....sorry dudes

3. Relearn the art of femininity

This can be tricky because my parents shoved independence into my brains long long time ago, as early as 13. I was taught that there is NO free lunch and I have to work hard, save hard and not to mess with my education. Drilled to perform,and partly happy that my parent did the NO nonsense parenting. I do come from a small town, very small expectations but to work hard to have a better life.

But my partner taught me how a lady need not shout for kindness or attention or anything. She only need to whisper sweet nothings to get a man's heart flutter and weak on their knees. This is interesting ain;t it. Remember the scene from the Devil wear Prada? Miranda's, the devious successful editor of Vogue was never shouting on her lungs to get things done HER way but a mere icy coldness that one cannot help but admire.

Femininity, something they dun teach in Convent schools and have to be relearn in society! Usually from college years and endless years of soul searching for my personal style and what I am comfortable with. NOt by swearing but by good old fashion manners and good upbringing!

PS...cross your legs if you are ever going to be caught death in a miniskirt!

4. The art of negotiations

This goes with the art of winning your wars of words. Choose wisely what you want in life and let to learn of petty stuff! My partner have this insane genorosity with his friends and will frequently, make very bad decisions without consulting me or even giving me a chance to undo the bad decisions.

To knock his ego off his socks, is a very pricey thing. Man;s ego are ever so fragile and delicate. Plus, I am older than him so I should know better right?

I guess this can be an ongoing skill to relearn, resharpen and relive. Sometimes, I can get by his silly tactics and sometimes, he makes me wanna kill him.

But we are a team and there is No I in Team, so I have to respect his bad decisions and pick up the pieces when he does fall badly on it. Not to mock his judgemeents any further but to allow him enough space to lick his wounds.


...

this is be a working list because in the end, I am still learning. Honestly, motherhood scares me because I am kinda scared that my kids will not turn out as good as I had hope. But in the end of the day, I rather just be there for them every step of the way. The same applies to my partner, for better or for worst.

For richer and for poorer...

To love and honour till time separates us

These are not words people, there are vows!

To maintain my company...

I finally figured out what I need to keep my little company running..

1. A Gardener

Introduced by my partner's friend, I got this amazing taiwanense middle aged man who does my clippings, mowing and weeds control for around 300 per session. This may be money well spent as it does keep the property in tight order. I pride myself in a decently kept garden, it helps maintain the property's value and it is a sight for sore eyes. I do spend a huge amount of time at home, so I like looking at my little english topiary garden !

If it can help lift my mood a tad bit, I considered money well spent.

2. a Dog groomer

Poor dodo may be neglected with the lack of love but to spend 60 per grooming session is quite a good bargain. He is happy and I am happy. But most importantly, I get his fur balls under control, silkly coat, professional cut and he looks like a real crocker spaniel and not some neglected house pet.

Also for the sake of my little ones, so they dun get allergens and nasty stuff from a poorly maintain pet. I totally advocate anyone who wants a pet, with quite a significant amount of fur to have it done professionally. I feel I owed it to dodo. Milly may insist we can do it ourselves but some things are better left to trained professionals.

3. Domestic cleaner

This may be a little bit extravagant and I am doubtful anyone can do a proper Job. I am also worried about exposing our house to strangers? Can they be trusted? Totally?

I run a risk of pesky people who may know My house too well and which doors are easily picked at. Exposing my house to any devious minds that may wanna plot a potential break ins!

One can never be too careful. PS, I found using my baby wipes to clean is quite an efficient way as it;s fast, easy and quite convenient. When you have little lya's hands around, quick and curious, I need to ensure all corners are covered. The tricky ones are toilets, window's still and dusty areas. Dust is a main threat for ezcema sufferer but I am willing to work a tad bit harder. I considered it free cardio for flabby mummy like me, to keep fit and happy.

4. A cook

This is tricky as I am picky about my food and I have been a avid supporter of using pure olive oil to cook all stir-frys since 3 years ago? Like I said, flabby mummy here and I am very picky about the amount of oil, salt, sugar and calories that I consumed. I even convinced milly to cook her meatballs with finely minced spinach so as to add more iron and fibre to both me and lya.

I dun really favor pork mince. Am a little doubtful they use good quality pork or worst, off meats for mince.

But, I am picky so I will forgo both a professional cook and cleaner , choosing to stick to my gardener and dog groomer instead!