beloved baby tyler

I reached a momentum today. How I must not force myself to go beyond my limits.

I love nursing baby Tyler but breast milk is so digestable that he wakes up every 2 hrs througout the night and it;s straining me and my partner and baby Lya.

I had the option of topping up formula for night feeds but I have prevail as long as I could so Baby Tyler can have a good start in life.

Natural is best for baby but at this stage, I must admit, I am failing to keep up with his needs and I need some serious sleep.

The worst part, milly is going back next Wednesday and I need to do my own cooking, laundry and housework. I will have less and less time to nurse him. Baby Lya's jealous streak is adding more stress to me and I am on the verge of breaking down.

The only solution....adding on formula so he sleeps longer in the morning, giving me enough sleep to pull through the day time.

It;s sad that I can not afford help in Oz, a maid or a nanny.

It;s a do or die thing for me. As much as it breaks my heart, I need to consider all options.

My only guilt is because I nursed Lya till 1 year old and I can;t do the same for my little son.

My heart is breaking but for the sake of both chidren, How can I not use the best option and solve the problem. While ceasing to punish myself for being an imperfect mother.

How I wish I could hire help...